Monday – my thoughts about the upcoming week.

So I’m awake after being woken up for meds at half 7 as per usual. I have a lot of anxieties about today (being the first day of a new week where all the professionals are back in etc) so I thought I’d try to make sense of them.

I’ve regained a lot of my freedom back that was taken away on Friday. I’m not sure if it was meant to be this way or whether I just got away with it. But although there has been no problems, I’m scared they will take it away from me again and cause more distress, because they feel the need to follow a strict “plan” or something regarding my stolen freedom.

My impulses- I can either be really impulsive or I can feel trapped or brooding. I am more scared of the latter as it feels terrifying being imprisoned in my mind without it coming out (partially explained in my post from Saturday). I feel no control over which state my mind ends up and I feel like the second option is taking over me at the moment. I’m scared of what it’s going to make me feel like I have to do.

These are my main worries. I feel so threatened and scared by everything around me when all I want is stability amd to feel mentally safe. I won’t know the answer to any of my questions now so I shall keep an open mind and see.

Edit – Just remembered it’s Halloween- it makes sense that I feel scared!

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