Some people find night time difficult for a variety of reasons. However, other people might cherish night times as a way of relaxing and unwinding at the end of another day. Or some would feel pure relief at being able to go to bed. But for me, anxiety builds approaching bedtime. Purely because the sooner you go to bed, the sooner you wake up to another day, having to do it all over again. The same inner torment, fight or flight mode, the same haunting fears…
I guess the reason why this subject has become a bit more prominent in my mind is because the increase in my medication is making me feel more tired especially early evenings. Hence earlier bedtime.
I’m really trying to challenge these fears because there is absolutely no point in worrying about how things will be tomorrow before today is even finished. It’s a waste. Yet our minds make it impossible to be rational. I have a lot of quotes saved on my phone, about how we should enjoy the present moment, not to let tomorrow’s worries take away today’s joy etc. Even a verse from the New Testament “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself.”
It’s hard but I really am trying to stay grounded in the present moment. As a Christian, I visualise myself putting my worries in God’s hands, and I believe that He is in control of tomorrow, and who knows what good might happen.
Hope this has made at least some sense. I shall now resume lying on the beanbags in the corner of the lounge for now.