30 day blog challenge – Day 25 – Your biggest regret.

Man this is a tough one because I have so so many regrets, even though I don’t believe in regrets. I shall write about the first one that comes to mind.

I hugely regret pushing away my best friends when I first got ill and got admitted to a psychiatric hospital for the first time when I was 15. They tried to ring, text, wanted to visit, but I believed that they didn’t care genuinely, they were better off without me and that I was better off alone. The worst was a few months later when I arranged a phonecall one evening with my friend. Her mum broke her back and she needed someone to talk to, and I was sectioned (from being informal) too. I remember the phone ringing and I just stared at the phone. I let her down.

I don’t speak to most of them any more because we have separated in vastly different paths. However there is still one from school who has stuck by me thick and thin, and she in fact visited me not too long ago when I was in an acute ward. I value her friendship more than words can say.

I guess this is also a message and a lesson learnt, to appreciate those we have in our lives and not push everyone away, even if all your instincts are telling you to.

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