Just a check in. 

Good evening readers/bloggers whoever and wherever you may be. I hope you have all had a good week so far!


My parents came to visit on Saturday and it was actually really nice to see them – no arguments! it was really hard to say goodbye except the fact it had gone 7pm and I was falling asleep(My meds make me sleepy really early)
So currently I am still here at the personality disorder ward. Previously I mentioned wanting to leave and be moved to another acute ward with less expectations – well I rang my care coordonator today but he thinks moving me will set me backwards and who also went on about how long it took me on the waiting list to end up where I am now, and therefore finding me somewhere else would be even more difficult. I understand where he’s come from I guess but I just don’t feel anyone really understands me here. I put on such a good facade that I can’t remember the last time I was truly genuine with anyone. The hospital has pretty much put me in a position where I can’t engage in a certain “problem behaviour” which therefore means I am doing well, which I’m okay with. But nothing has changed mentally. That particular problem behaviour has it’s phases – 2 months of doing it daily, then stop… then another 2 months then stop… I stopped again this time but it’s not cause of anything the hospital’s done, it’s because of how I work anyway! I feel like I am being pushed in a direction that I really do not want to go down – but since when did I ever get a choice?

Also this is the latest I’ve stayed up til in ages! My medication  (Clopixol injection 200mg weekly) makes me really tired and I end up sleeping from between 5.30-7pm all the way through the night! I don’t know why I’m still awake now to be honest. I took my zopiclone sleeping tablet with the rest of my night meds about half an hour ago.

On a positive, although they are extremely behind with post, my new pokemon moon game should be arriving by the end of this week (was ordered on Friday from Amazon, would have gotten here by now if it wasn’t for the xmas rush) and I am so excited! I’d love to do a little post purely about Pokemon when I get into the game XD

Anyway I should really think about trying to sleep now. I have therapy at 9am tomorrow and a meeting with the social worker and hoping hoping hoping my damn post will arrive tomorrow too! 

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