I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22! (Or not)

I walked into the lounge and 22 by Taylor Swift came on right away – must be fate!   It doesn’t really feel like a birthday – I still feel like I’m 17! But remember one of the latest posts I wrote about needing to take more care of myself? I managed to have a shower yesterday and did my makeup. The other girls all put some money in to get me a birthday present- a cute pair of pyjamas and socks which I am wearing now. Later on we are going to order a takeaway using spare cash the unit has.

However it is also ward round today and I regret agreeing to come into my ward round as it was horrifically stressful  (apart them all singing happy birthday to me when I walked in at first- cringe!). They’re trying to pressure me into not doing things I’m not ready to stop which is hard for me. But apart from writing about it now I have decided not to dwell on it as it won’t help matters.

On a positive,  In the last 7 days I have only binged properly twice which is huge achievement for me! And it hasn’t all been a struggle- it feels like second nature to me now. Have to be weighed tomorrow morning though which I’m sure will send me off the edge. But anyway! Enough negativity!

I’m going to spend the rest of the day chilling out whether it just means continuing reading the Fault In Our Stars on my new tablet or chatting with the other girls.


Ward round – 26/10/2016

So today my ward round only finished at around 4.15pm ish as I was one of the last ones on the list. I am still a bit emotional so I will try to find my bearings before I type too much.

  • Firstly, I didn’t even get lectured about why behaviours are bad bla bla bla whoch was a nice surprise. But apparently I am being more open than I have been in the past few meetings.
  • Because I am refusing my oral clopixol tablets because they arent helping, they are starting me on a clopixol depo injection once a week so its slow acting in my system so hopefully that should help more. They are starting it on a low dose so hopefully it won’t knock me out.
  • A lot of things were discussed, the consultant likes to analyse how I interact with the people in the room but I won’t go into that.
  • They mentioned a concern about how much pepsi max I drink and the consultant said I need to come to a negotiation with the ward manager about the amount I drink, as it could be related to my eating disorder. Not looking forward to that conversation.
  • But all for all, it wasn’t too bad a ward round. No lectures is always a good outcome.

Right, they’ve found the clopixol depot and theyre going to give it to me now so bye for now and thank you anyone who has bothered to read this.

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